Could Krystal Not Be French? "
By: Krystal, Hologram, [RNPC]
Maxine Lucinda Tapert, Computer Specialist, [PC]
Pierre D'Aubigne, Flight Control Officer, [PC]

Stardate: 58208.12 0700

Pierre woke in the strange environment that made up the USS Zion. He still found it difficult sleeping in new places and he would be like this for another week or so. He got dressed and realised that he was not going to be on shift for another couple of hours. He made his way around the ship till he found the holodecks. He punched in a couple of commands on LCARS screen and realised that his programme that he loved the most was not here.

Swearing all sorts of French inflammatories, blaming on English mindless boggling, he decided on the best way of getting what he wanted. He ran a check on who would be the best person most likely to help him and realised it would be a Maxine. He went off in search of her.

Maxine was in the computer core. Of course she was almost always there, and today was no different. When Pierre checked the computer for her location, he was readily given it.

"Pixie, run a level two diagnostics on all your secondary subroutines," he heard her say as he entered. She seemed to be alone however, so it was unclear exactly who she was talking to.

"Affirmative," came the light, almost high-pitched and rather grumpy sounding reply.

"Pardon?" Pierre asked as he entered the computer core. "I wish not to disturb if that's going to be a problem?"

Maxine looked up at Peter and blinked. It wasn't often that she found herself with company in the computer core, and definitely not this early in the morning. "'Eh?" she straightened some in her chair. "You 'ave a problem?" Her New Zealand accent was soft and easy to understand. Her long hair had several tiny braids and knotted strands that escaped the haphazard knot she pulled the rest of it back into, and each of them sparkled with tiny bits of glittering knick-knacks. There was also a crystal barrette in her hair.

"I hope so, I've been led to believe by the computer," he pointed to the computer core. "That you could assist me in designing a very specific holoprogram.

Maxine glanced over at the core when he motioned to it and for a moment her eyes filled with code. It still lingered for a heartbeat when she turned back to look at Pierre and blinked. "Oh. Roight," she nodded and focused on him. "We can do that. What did y'need exactly?"

"We like holoprograms," Krystal popped into view with a little spray of golden pixie dust. She fluttered her wings and waved at the new flight control officer. "I'm Krystal."

Pierre stared at Krystal deciphering if it this was somebody's dirty joke or if he was actually looking at a pixie. He became perplexed as shuffled his closed mouth a bit as his mind did some very serious decision making. He finally turned to Maxine and asked the one question that he could possibly ask, "Are you English?"

"New Zealand," she answered, the question puzzling her a bit.

Krystal fluttered over and settled on top the computer console. She began preening her wings as she watched Pierre and Maxine with wide blue eyes full of curiosity.

Maxine also watched Pierre out of curiosity, her eyes green as opposed to the pixie's. "She's a 'ologram," Max couldn't help but notice the way he'd stared at Krystal.

"Well, if you designed her, then I think I found the right person."

"I did," Max admitted as she glanced over at the pixie. "Now. About that program y'wanted.. I'll need to know how detailed y'want it and the general parameters."

"It is rather simple actually, William the Conqueror, 1066."

Maxine blinked. "William the Conqueror, 1066." she repeated. "I. uh. I'll 'ave to research that. 'istory was never my subject."

"I could look him up if you let me back into the computer," Krystal pointed out.

"No," Max responded simply.

"What is that word used...ah yes, feisty, this pixie is." Pierre remarked.

Krystal preened at the praise because really, what pixie in her right mind wouldn't want to be thought of as 'feisty'?

"She's grounded," Maxine informed him with a soft snort and a stern look at the hologram. She pushed the hair back that fell into her eyes, revealing a bruise just above her temple and a rather nasty looking knot that had a haphazard Band-Aid stuck in the middle. "Until I find out why she 'ad an orgy in my room."

"It wasn't an org---" Krystal started to protest and immediately stopped when Max made a "Ssstt!" sound and started to raise her hand.

The little hologram's antennae and wings drooped and she let out a heartfelt sigh.

"Oh, this is very interesting." Pierre definitely was riveted now. He was beginning to like the Pixie more and more with every passing minute. He turned to Maxine. "Could Krystal not be French?"

"Eh? French?" Maxine looked from Pierre to Krystal, who perked up and began to preen her wings. The little hologram gave Pierre a wide-eyed look and a big grin. "I can be French," she told him and then frowned and drooped again. "I can't access French," she told him woefully.

Max snorted. She really didn't look all that well, and considering the night she'd had, it was no wonder.

"Being French is not about access, it is an attitude, it is a way of life." Pierre hadn't realised he switched over to the French vernacular.

Maxine arched a brow in his direction when she realized the universal translators were running and he wasn't speaking in Federation Standard. Krystal Ooooohhh'd and clapped her hands with a giggle. "He sounds pretty," she announced.

Maxine rolled her eyes. "She meant that she couldn't access the computer to find out what 'being French' means." she explained.

"French is beautiful, it is a language of love and seduction. It is more than just pretty, it's a way of life. That is French mademoiselle Krystal."

Krystal blinked and giggled. "I'm beautiful," she nodded. "I have perfect breasts. They're pert. See?" She cupped her breasts and turned this way and that to show him. "What's 'seduction'?" she asked.

Maxine groaned and rubbed her face. "Crikey. I'm going to reprogram you."

Pierre laughed. "Yes, as I was saying, William, 1066, the Norman general who invaded England. All I need is his battles and life in his court."

Maxine nodded. "I can do that. The data banks will have all the information I need," she told him.

"But, but. What's 'Seduction'?" Krystal insisted.

"Pixie!" Max raised her hand and looked like she was going to snap her fingers.

"NONONO! Don't do that! Don't do that!" the little hologram wailed and zipped over to plaster herself around Max's fingers so she couldn't snap them. "I'll be good Maxie!!! I promise I'll be good!" she cried.

Maxine blinked and looked at her hand with the holographic image of Krystal. Then she looked to Pierre. "Uhhh. Don't pay any attention to 'er. She's not 'erself."

"Certainly, I won't." Pierre was finding it difficult not to pay her attention as he was entertained by the little pixie. All he could think of was the phrase, 'small things amuse small minds.' He begun hoping this was not the case because not only would he be in real trouble, but so would the crew Zion be as well. Who would want an idiot flying for them?

"It won't take me long to code the basics," Maxine told him and tried to ignore the pixie on her fingers. "Then we can run through the program and you can tell me what you want to tweak."

"Absolutely. It was my favorite on the Liberty. I'll swing by in the next couple of days to see what its like."

"A'roight then," she nodded. "That works for me. I'll send you a message when I'm finished." And with that, she shook her hand and disrupted the holographic image, scattering Krystal's pixels into pixie dust.