Who's Island is This? "
By: M'Ressha Mikaht, Fighter pilot , [RNPC]
Teilani Dane, Chief Medical Officer, [PC]
Krystal, Hologram, [RNPC]
Maxine Lucinda Tapert, Computer Specialist , [PC]
Giuseppe Silvio, Chief Engineer, [RNPC]
Jonathan Wright, Executive Officer, [PC]

Stardate: 58206.15 1920

Silvio watched as Max did her best to secure the island. Just as she had locked the pixie into the game she was now attempting to isolate the island.

"Any luck," he asked.

Maxine glanced up at him and nodded. "I think so, sir.... Birkoff 'asn't broken through my last lock and m'beefin' it up now. 'E seems to 'ave a bit of trouble with four dimensional thinking, and m'using that to our advantage.." she told him.

"That's good news," said Silvio, "it looks like Birkoff's program has stopped its attack on the pixie and is now trying to get by your island code."

"T'island's a distraction then, which is good. The less 'e mucks with 'er, the more insidiously she can work 'er way into 'is programming," Max nodded.

"I think that may be the key," observed Silvio, "His programming seems to want to focus on one problem at a time. What if we give him several breaches in his security to worry about."

"Mmm.. Good thinking, sir. Did y'ave any ideas?" she asked. "I think the more automated systems would be easier t'infiltrate."

Silvio ran his hand through his hair, "Could you trap him inside the island program?"

"We can try. If 'e doesn't figure out what we're doing we'll be successful," Maxine agreed. "'Is attention should be on t'island now. If we can keep it there and slowly block off everything else...." she looked to Silvio for his input.

Silvio nodded, "If we can do that, then we are half way there. Then we just need to figure out how to get our crew out of there. Let's give it a try."

"Aye sir. And if we get 'im trapped, getting our crew out of there should be exponentially easier with 'im not thwarting our every move," Max said as she began to systematically shut down systems and isolate them from the holodeck while Silvio kept pressing an attack on the island front.

***

Huddled and shivering together under a half deflated rubber raft in the torrential rain storm, Blitzer, Dane and Wright waited for the next thing the Holographic Birkoff could throw at them.

It would be totally dark if not for the faint glow the Pixie gave off.

Suddenly Blitzer turned with a start. His ears began oscillating back and forth like little scanners. "I hear someone," he whispered.

Blitzer stirred and ducked out from under the raft where he could hear a little better with out the sound of heavy rain pattering down on the rubber. He took a couple steps into the forest, he nodded at the sound and turned toward the Commander and the Doctor, motioning them to follow.

A moment later he was bounding through dense brush with silent grace. He saw a man walking away from them, he was carrying something hunched over and covered with a piece of tarp.

"Wait!" said Blitzer, causing the person to stop. "We want to talk to you."

The shrouded person slowly turned around and pulled the tarp off his head. He stared wide-eyed and slack-jawed as the Caitian approached. He was very skinny and lanky and wore a red shirt and had a white sailor's cap. He carried a large bunch of bananas which soon dropped to the ground. Before Blitzer could say another word the man turned and ran yelling, "Lions Skipper! Lions Skipper! Help! Lions!"

Blitzer frowned and ran after the man. He soon chased him down and tackled him. The man rolled over as Blitzer stood back up. He chewed on his finger tips as if he were frightened.

"We just want to talk to you, my Commander and the Doctor, we need shelter," said Blitzer.

The man stood up as the Wright and Dane approached. The man was visibly shaken, "Don't run," said Blitzer, "We're friends."

As Wright, Dane and the Pixie approached his jaw went slack again and his eyes widened.

"Wait, don't run," Blitzer reminded him vainly. The man had already turned and was sprinting off yelling, "Skipper! Pirates ...pirates Skipper! And lions Skipper!" Blitzer shrugged at Wright

"Wait," yelled Wright, "We are not pirates." Wright ran after the man. They followed in the direction the man ran. A trail seemed to be worn into the foliage.

Soon they came up to a clearing Blitzer motioned the Commander and the Doctor to crouch down as he did too. A large portly man stood outside a cave with twig man. He was wearing a blue shirt. "See, there's nothing out here Gilligan, now where are those bananas?"

"The lion ate 'em Skipper" he answered.

The large man took his hat off and slapped it on the other man's head. "Get inside," he said. The man looked around one more time, shaking his head before disappearing into the cave himself.

Wright, Dane and Blitzer moved to the mouth of the cave Wright looked at the pixie hovering next to the big Cait, "Just where did you get this island from." he asked.

"From the holodeck data banks," she answered promptly. "They're castaways!" And then she began singing the theme song from Gilligan's Island.

Wright was not sure about this Gilligan's Island and he was hoping that the pixie had not been infected with a virus. He looked at the big Cait, "I think it is best that you and the pixie stay outside. The doctor and I will go in and tray to get this sorted out."

"Good idea, Sir." said Blitzer, "Me and Pixie will go and get the supplies."

"Aye, aye, Sir!" Krystal agreed.

"Good," said Wright turning to the doctor, "Let's go and find out what is in here. Be careful doctor."

"Yes Commander." Teilani shivered again as she carefully entered the cave. It was cold but dry.

"We have supplies?" Krystal could be heard asking the big Cait as the two headed back to the cove.

The Professor was the first to spy the new arrivals. "Gilligan did see something," he casually announced, pointing between the Skipper and Gilligan. "Look."

There were seven of them, who in a comical way as a group approached them cautiously.

"Hello," said Wright cautiously eyeing the group. They did not seem to be dangerous, "I am John Wright and this is my Doctor Teilani Dane. We have been stranded here by the storm."

Teilani brushed a strand of wet hair from her face. "Hello."

The group all began to talk at once asking questions, "where are you from? how'd you get here? where's your boat? is there anyone else with you?"

Finally, the professor whistled, "now now, everyone, one at a time."

The castaways fell silent for a moment, then everyone started asking questions again, "Does anyone know you're here? Do you have a radio?" How...what...where... all clamored into a steady drone of chatter. Wright raised his hands in a claming gesture, "Let's calm down folks."

When the castaway's chatter settled down, the professor approached Dr. Dane, "A Doctor eh?" The professor had a smug look on his face, "Well, I'm very pleased to meet you."

"Same here Professor." Teilani said as she tried to hide the shivering creeping up her back.

Seeing Doctor Dane was shivering, he said, "come warm up by the fire," he said gesturing toward the warm glow at the back of the cave, "and you too Mr. Wright."

As Dane and Wright walked toward the fire, the castaways huddled in a tight circle and whispered among themselves.

When they broke, the one called Gilligan could be heard, "but Skipper, but.. Skipper."

The Skipper responded with his arm stretched out pointing toward the mouth of the cave, "Get going Gilligan.........Now!"

Gilligan disappeared out of the cave.

The professor turned to Wright and Dane, "Gilligan is going to get you some dry clothes."

The Skipper took up a spot next to the professor and added a comment off the side, "..if our huts are still standing."

*** Blitzer returned to the spot where the rubber raft was. He turned it over and picked up the canvas bag, slinging it over his shoulders. He dragged the bright yellow raft as they made their way back.

"What was that song you were singing?" asked Blitzer. "It's a theme song from the Gilligan's Island show," Krystal answered as she helped tug on the raft with him. Then she launched into the song again.

When she was finished, he complimented her, "that was very good. So, these people here... what's their story?"

"Oh, they're an allegory," she told him. "Silly people went out when there was a storm and got stranded on the deserted isle. So they're in exile from civilization," she explained. "Every week they have a problem they have to solve or get through during the episode. Maybe we're it this week," she giggled. "I wonder if we'll 'be continued'."

Blitzer paused to consider the pixie's words, but opted not to hear all the details.

He chuckled as he came to the spot where the twig man had dropped the bananas and picked them up.

"Ooohh.. bananas are good!" the pixie hologram nodded her approval.

"Is that what these are?" He set them down on the ground and pried one off the bunch. Taking a sniff he took a chomp of it. It was tough and sinewy. He chewed a little bit and then polity turned away and spit it out. "Yech!" he said. "That's terrible."

Krystal blinked as she watched him try to eat the banana and then fell into a fit of giggles after he spit it out.

Blitzer looked curiously at the Pixie wondering if she had played some kind of trick on her.

"Nononono..." she finally managed. "You peel the skin off and eat what's inside! Maxie loves them. She says she thinks she was a monkey in another lifetime," she added helpfully.

Blitzer reached down and pulled another and looked at it. He looked up at Pixie for assurance. Using his claw he sliced the peel away but before he could take a bite he heard someone approaching, "Shh!" he gestured.

He crouched down and a twig suddenly snapped a few meters up the trail. He turned in the direction of the sound and stood up. It was the twig man. He was carrying something else this time. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

Suddenly a flash of lightning and a loud peal of thunder appeared. The young man threw the articles he was carrying at Blitzer and ran past him, "lions Skipper! lions!"

Krystal giggled and looked at Blitzer. "You should roar," she told him with a mischievous grin.

Blitzer leaned toward the Pixie, "Meow!" he said with a grin.

"You're so great! No wonder Maxie likes you so much!" Krystal giggled and clapped her hands, spraying pixie dust everywhere and then impulsively placing a pixie kiss on Blitzer's cheek.

******

"So where did you study?" asked the professor of Dane.

Teilani huddled close to the fire, it helped a little but she was still cold. "I went to medical school in San Francisco. You are a professor right, in what?"

"Physics!" said the Professor, "MIT '59" he said with a boasting voice.

"How did you end up here?"

"Well!" said the Professor, "I was in Honolulu for a convention and next thing I know, I'm on a 3 hour tour. The weather started getting rough. The tiny boat was tossed. If it weren't for Gilligan and the Skipper, the Minnow would have been lost. But, the ship hit ground on the shore of this....tiny deserted island...with the 7 of us."

The Professor looked deep into Dane's eyes with admiration.

"It must have been difficult for you to survive here. Haven't you ever tried to find a way home?"

"Oh, yes, many times..."

"So tell me, Mr. Wright. What is it that you do exactly?" Mr. Howell asked.

"I command a millitary vessel," said Wright, "I guess you could say I am on vacation."

"Aren't we all," Mr. Howell grinned, but it came off as more of a smirk. "We've been on vacation for three years now," he told Wright.

"I do wish you'd think of some way to get us off this island, Captain," Mrs. Howell addressed Wright. "I'm three years behind in the designer fashions!"

Ginger scooted closer to Wright, "Ooh! I love a man in uniform," she said batting her eyelashes.

Wright was a bit uncomfortable, "So, ah, you are an actress," he asked.

"Oh yes," she said softly, "enough about me though, tell me ore about you." . . Suddenly Gilligan came barging in. The Skipper, seeing Gilligan empty handed, asked, "Gilligan! where are the clothes?"

"LIONS SKIPPER, LIONS! The Lions ate them!!" Gilligan announced and pointed back the way he came. "Big huge lions with huge teeth and glowing eyes!"

"Calm down Gilligan, enough with the lion nonsense." said the Skipper, "Where are those clothes I sent you to get?"

"The LIONS ate-- Skipp-- er..." Gilligan's voice trailed off at the look on the Skipper's face.

During a lull in the conversation Blitzer entered the cave. He set down the bananas and the canvas bag, the rubber raft which was now mostly deflated and the clothes Gilligan had thrown at him.

Krystal flittered in behind the big Cait, leaving a trail of golden pixie dust in her wake and twittering excitedly in a high-pitched voice.

"SEE!!! LIONS!!" Gilligan yelled and hopped around and ducked behind the Skipper's bulk.

Skipper looked at the strange creature, "That is not like any lion I've ever seen," he said.

Ginger shrieked and jumped up on a bench while Maryann fainted and slumped to the soft sandy floor of the cave.

The professor stood frozen in awe staring at the "lion" and the pixie.

Krystal giggled and waved to them all. "Hihihihi!"

Teilani giggled as she noticed the startled looks on the Castaway's faces.

The professor jumped up and stood in front of Dane as if to protect her, "Don't worry," he said, "be perfectly still."

Teilani stood up and walked over to Maryann, kneeling down she gently tapped her face. "Wake up, its alright, they are harmless."

Maryann opened her eyes, as Dane continued to assure her. "What is that?" she asked in a quiet, subdued voice.

"A circus lion?" guessed Ginger.

"He has a mighty roar," Krystal giggled, and then added proudly; "He's a fighter pilot." She flittered about Blitzer's head, keeping very close to him.

Gilligan peeked out from around the Skipper. "See.. Told you... A lion..."

"Thurston... I feel faint..." Mrs. Howell pressed the back of a hand to her brow and Mr. Howell took his hat off to helpfully fan her face.

Teilani helped Mary Ann to her feet. "I do apologize if Blitzer startled you. He is infact my patient. Unfortunately for his condition we have been unable to find a cure. So Blitzer perhaps you can introduce yourself?"

The little pixie looked from Dane to Blitzer with wide eyes. "You have a *condition*???" her little voice gasped and her hands covered her mouth in the classic 'Oh NO!' pose. "What is it?? Is it serious?? I'll tell Maxie!"

"Krystal!" Teilani said with a little warning.

Krystal either didn't understand the warning, or completely missed it altogether, because she was fretting over Blitzer ad buzzing around him like he had some kind of virus she needed to detect and eradicate. "Oooohh... Maxie's gonna be soooo worried..." she fretted.

Skipper pulled Gilligan out from behind him, "Don't just stand there Gilligan, get Mrs. Howell something to drink."

"Oh! Right Skipper!" Gilligan jumped and ran out of the cave and right past the water bucket.

"Remarkable," commented the Professor taking a close look, "But what is that bird thing that talks? Some sort of parrot?"

"Indeed professor, it a newly discovered species." Teilani said with a small wink to the pixie.

Krystal looked up from her examination of Blitzer to blink at Teilani. "I'm not a parrot! I'm a pixie!"

The Professor snapped his fingers as he looked closer at the pixie, "Its some sort of ventriloquist puppet," he waved his finger at, "that's very clever."

"Krystal, these good folk do not know what a pixie is and it is complicated to explain it to them. Remember who put us here?" Teilani said gently.

"Actually, statistically speaking, people of the 20th century have a much better grasp on the idea of pixies and faerie-kind than people of the 24th century," Krystal pointed out as she went into educational mode. "They are still under the literary influence of Walt Disney and his tales of Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, The Brother's Grimm and their collection of Fairy Tales.... And Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels and the tiny Lilliputians... Just to mention a few...."

Teilani shook her head, obviously it was no use talking to the pixie, thus she turned back to the professor. "Its complicated," she said with a re-assuring smile. "But she is harmless."

The professors eye brows arched in almost a comical way, "Indeed!" he said.

Gilligan came racing back into the cave carrying a coconut shell cup that most of water had managed to spill out of by the time he skirted around the "lion" and the talking parrot to come to a halt before the Skipper. "I got the water, Skipper..." He kept looking back over his shoulder just in case it was a real lion.

Blitzer gave Gilligan a sly smile and a wink.