The Edge of Freedom #78"
By: Dr Ritza Renal
, CMO
, [NPC]
Teilani Dane, Chief Medical Officer, [PC]
Stardate: 58204.15 1830
She nodded towards her chief nurse confirming that she should go with him. Teilani wondered what had happened, it must have been an accident somewhere, hopefully it had nothing to do with the children. Teilani already walked over to the autopsy room, her services were probably needed later on.
It did not take long before the coroner and his team returned bringing with them only one body bag.
“Well doc, Coroner Cusman said, you’ve got your work cut out for you, there is not much left of them”.
“What do you mean by them, Teilani asked. ”Although we only have 1 body bag Doc, there are possibly 3 victims in it”. There was a big explosion, the room was devastated, the only thing we could do was collecting body parts
“Very well, place them on the examination table, any idea who they are, she asked. “Well the coroner replied, apparently it is crewman Wilson and some prisoners at least that is what we overheard”.
Teilani’s eyes got big, swallowing a lump in her throat, thought raced through her mind, it could not be ……………………… Carefully she unzipped the body bag, keeping her tricorder ready. It did not take long for her to see that the readings were the same as those of the two men she had discovered as being spies. There was nothing she could do anymore.
What had she done, she had condemned two people to their death including a young crew man. How could she live with herself. She needed to get away, away from sickbay, away from the ship. She needed to get some fresh air.
Teilani rushed out of sickbay, dropping her med.coat on the floor.
======
On: qul tuq
Renal was walking over the promenade toward the office of the supply master. He needed several non replicatable goods for sickbay. he stopped when he saw a woman hanging on the railing looking at the crowd with a glazy look in her eyes. Renal recognized the medical officer of the USS Zion.
He decided to stop. “Nice view isn’t it?” then he saw that she was looking at the refugees that where being taken off the ships . Teilani was looking down the promenade, well actually not looking, her thoughts were so far away, doubting, analysing, when she heard a voice asking "Nice view isn't it, Teilani looked up, recognizing her colleague from the USS Atlanta, "it's not too bad, she replied, looking back down again, "They look so lost".
“I imagine they feel like that as well.” Renal placed his hands on the promenade. “but then there are always people who would give you such clichés as ‘they aren’t lost until they lost their hope.’ ‘they aren’t lost as long as they got their families or part of there families anyway.’ But I’m not one of those people.” Renal looked down. “So many lives destroyed in this war, there lucky to be alive"
"I guess you right, she responded, but luck has nothing to do with it. “I simply can not understand why this war can not stop, I am so fed up with it, telling people their loved ones are dead. I know that us doctors decide who live or dies but sometimes I wish I could make it all go away”.
Renal was surprised she knew who he was. “ah there will be no end to that, you knew that when you took the job. Until the end you kill people, but the saving is the fun part. That’s what makes it worth it.” Renal got tired of standing “come lets drink a glass of bolian spring water at the Romulan restaurant.”
Teilani nodded, “alright she responded as they started to walk to the Romulan restaurant. "Tell me sir, I do see from your cloths that you are from the medical profession but I do not believe I have heard your name yet?” .
“Dr Ritza Renal, CMO USS Atlanta. And you are Dr?”
“Nice to meet you Dr Renal, I’m Dr Teilani Dane, CMO USS Zion”.
“ Getting back to our conversation Teilani continued, Doctor, when people die in sickbay I have no problems about it cause I know I have done everything in my power to fix them up”. I just sometimes wonder if I have made the right decision”.
“What decision did you make?” Renal asked with a light tone of voice.
Teilani sighed, she felt miserable. “To be come a doctor, she simply said. But she refused this feeling to get the upper hand. She certainly would not want another doctor to notice this. “Who are we to decide who lives or dies”.
Renal knew that guilty minds made weird jumps. He thought about telling her but she was already making a not-so-successful effort to conceal her misery so he tried a different approach.
In the mean time the waiter had placed some spring water on their table and Teilani took a sip from her glass. She felt the anger and frustration bottle up in side her, “You know Doctor Renal, I just would like to hit something or somebody
“Miss Dane” Renal said. “We can never fully understand the choices of people we don’t really know, why people are saved is an act of gods, or a choice human makes, with what ever your more comfortable” .He took a drink of the Bolian spring water. “Renal looked at her. “And hitting someone is never satisfactory”.
"No, I know but it feels damn good". Teilani took another sip of her water, suppressing the emotions bottling inside her, trying to control them. Then she smiled, trying to switch to another subject. "Tell me Dr Renal, how long have you been in the medical profession?
“my god let me see, well I guess that a little over 2 years now. First on a Klingon bird of prey and after that the Atlanta, my current posting.” Renal ordered an other bottle of Bolian spring water. “how long have you been a doctor?”
A little bit longer than you, Doctor, I spent 3 years on the Medical academy as a teacher and then 1 year on the USS Starchaser before I ended up on the Zion. and I really enjoy it.
“I can imagine that. Why did you become an doctor? I mean your obviously having trouble with your choice.” Renal took some of the nuts out of the little dish on the table, and leaned into his chair.
Teilani's eyes flickered, “I became a doctor in order to make a difference, saving and preserving lifes instead of destroying them”, she said with a cold voice and believe me doctor I DO NOT REGRET MY DECISION whatsoever”. Teilani took a deep breath looking at Renal, he suddenly reminded her Dr Freud. she did not know if she liked him or not.. She rubbed her temples, the same headache she had been having for days came back again.
“Than that’s your answer Dr Dane.” Renal smiled “You do not regret your decision. You preserved there lives even while they didn’t preserve the lives of so many others. You did that what you became a doctor for. The rest does not relate to you.”
I guess that’s true. Teilani responded, she kept rubbing her temples, that damn headache.
Renal saw her rubbing the sides of her head. “Kandavar herbal tea will get rid of your headache”
Teilani smiled, “ Maybe I am just too compassionate. Besides I hate herbal tea”. She laughed again. and especially kandavar its awful”
“Yeah it doesn’t really solve anything your taste butts will scream in pain, but that’s easily washed away.” Renal stood up. “have compassion for yourself dear doctor, not for the killed killers.” He nodded, he was already late. “good day doctor Dane I hope to see you again someday.” He turned around and within a few seconds he was out of sight.
Teilani watched Renal leaving. Then she waived to the waitress and ordered Sauran brandy, a double.