How Could You Understand? "
By: Patia Zoei, Chief Counselor, [PC]
Jonathan Wright, Executive Officer, [PC]

Stardate: 58204.26 0800

Counselor's office

Wright thought about ignoring Counselor Zoei's meeting request. His first thought had been to rip into her for insubordination. Deep down, however, he knew that she was doing her job and he would need to visit with her sooner or later.

Wright left his office and made his way down to Deck 8 to Counselor Zoei's office. He has not seen a counselor since his wife had dies. They did little to help him then so he did not expect much from this meeting. He rang the door chime.

Zoei glanced at the chronometer, 0804. Commander Wright was just late enough to put her on notice that he was there at his discretion, not hers, but not so late that it couldn't be explained away with a simple apology, if he chose to issue it. She shook her head. "Enter, Commander."

Wright entered the counselor's office and flashed his best *let's get this over with* smile. "Good morning Counselor. How are you?"

"Good morning, Commander. I am doing well. How are you?" She took notice of his smile and his lack of attention to his late arrival. Already, this appointment felt hopeless. The true key to success with any counselor/patient relationship is the patient's willingness and openness to address his or her problems. The Commander was here because of an expectation, not with any true hope of resolution.

"I am just fine," said Wright a little defensively.

"Would you care for something to drink?"

"No thank you."

"I am going to have a glass of tea. If you change your mind, help yourself to the replicator," Zoei smiled slightly. "Have a seat in one of those chairs," Zoei gestured to the seating area with the bold colored couches and abundance of throw pillows. She crossed the room to the replicator and requested her tea.

Wright looked at all of the pillows and chuckled, "You think I might need to attack a pillow?" He sat down and waited for her to begin.

"After one incident with a visitor here, I decided it was much safer for all involved to have more than enough soft things to throw around," Zoei chuckled. She settled in her chair, tucking her feet underneath her. The glass of tea rested on her knee.

Wright lifted his damaged arm which was now covered with a protective device. "I guess I could club a few pillows to death," he chuckled.

"I know being here is not something you see as particularly productive or effective. I appreciate you willingness to stop in."

"No problem Counselor."

"How long will it be until Dr. Dane has your new arm ready?"

"She is re-growing it even as we speak. It should be ready by the time we get back to Qul Tuq."

"It is amazing the progress in modern technology. Tell me, how did it happen? I know you were in the holodeck." Zoei shifted so she was nestled into the side of the chair. The smaller she appeared, the less threatening, less significant she was, and hopefully, less threatening. The funny thing about being a counselor was, for the right person, she was far more intimidating or unsettling than the largest enemy carrying the most elaborate arsenal.

"Silvio and I were taking some time to relax. We went scuba diving. When Birkoff took over he reprogrammed Silvio's program to include a shark. It came out of nowhere and took off my arm. Wright began rubbing his damaged arm.

"I bet that was a bit of a shock. That holodeck is supposed to be safe. How is it going for you with just one hand?"

"To be honest it is taking me a little time to get used to it." Wright smiled, "It will take some time."

"What part is the hardest?"

"Sometimes I still think it is there and try to use it. That gets frustrating. I never realized how much I use that hand."

"I can imagine many simple tasks require two hands. Does Dr. Dane think she will be able to have the reattachment done before we get to Qul Tuq? Or will you have that done there?" Commander Wright was a hard man to involve in a conversation, Zoei noted. His answers were succinct and did not leave for her to work with when she formed her next question.

"I think she is going to do the procedure at Qul Tuq." Wright paused, "Look, you said that the Doctor was concerned about me. I can assure you that I am not going to do anything to hurt this ship or crew. I was just in a bad mood and wanted to get out of sickbay. I guess I just snapped at her."

"No one is concerned you would do anything to hurt this ship or her crew. You have been through an extremely stressful situation, on a number of counts. Coupled with the loss of your hand, Dr. Dane felt it was in your best interests to touch base with me to ensure that you are going to be ok. I have to say, I agree completely. Any person on this ship, who had gone through what you have gone through, should spend a little time chatting with me."

"Very well," he said. "What would you like to chat about?"

"Tell me why you think counselors are a waste of time and space," Patia smiled to soften the bluntness of her statement.

"I do not recall saying that counselors are a waste of time and space." Wright gave her a perplexed look. "I do not think that at all. I just think they do not work for me. I have had several sessions with various counselors after T'Pril died and it was pretty much time that could have been better spent doing something else."

"You did not have to say it, Sir. Sometimes, one just knows how someone feels about their vocation. And, they might not work for you. Each person has individual needs and not every counselor is a good fit. I would also guess, Sir, that the real trouble with counselors and your meetings with them weren't the actual meeting, but the fact they couldn't fix your trouble. No matter what anyone said or did, either you or the counselors, the reality is, T'Pril is not coming back. Am I close?"

"I am not a foolish man Counselor." Wright was frustrated. He had opened the door to this conversation. He did not really want to go there again but he walked right into this conversation. "I know that no one can bring her back. I was hoping that they could bring back the part of me that died with her though."

"I never said you were a foolish man. It isn't about rational thought. It is about feeling and emotion and a hole inside you big enough to fit this entire ship, that no matter what you do, where you go or who you meet, it never goes away. I have to say, my feeling is the counselor's role is to help you accommodate the missing part of you, not to replace it. That part can't come back, Commander, but it doesn't mean other parts can't be stronger."

"Do you know much about Vulcans counselor?" Wright asked.

"Why don't you tell me, Sir," Patia shifted in her seat. She crossed her legs and braced her elbow on her thigh. With her chin propped on her hand, she leaned forward.

"We had a bond," Wright tensed up. "It was like a little piece of her was always in my mind. I could feel the presence of her mind." Wright looked out a window in Zoei's office. He fixed his stare on a tiny distant star and continued. "After a while it got to be a comfort having her there." He tapped one finger on the side of his head. "When she died that instantly was gone." He looked back at Zoei. "It was a terrible pain counselor." Wright lifted his damaged arm. "It makes this feel like a paper cut."

"I understand," Patia nodded sympathetically.

"With all do respect counselor, How could you possibly know?" Wright had seen this before with other counselors. They all knew what he felt and yet none of them had ever experienced that kind of loss.

"I am not sure if you know, but Betazid people are also bonded to their mates. It is an intricate connection and quite unique. My bonded mate has been dead for 25 years already, Commander. With all due respect, I do understand your viewpoint. I apologize if I came across as a know it all. You were very lucky to have experienced the relationship you had with T'Pril." Patia smiled faintly.

"I am sorry counselor. I had no idea," said Wright.

"You would have no reason to know. It isn't something that normally comes up in casual conversation and there would be no reason for it to be in my jacket. How long has your wife been gone?"

"Eight years ago this month," replied Wright.

"I am very sorry for your loss. Did you stay in contact with her family?"

"No, not really," said Wright.

"Do you ever wish you had?"

"I do not think they would see much logic in it." Wright smiled.

"Aye, you might have a point there, Commander," Patia smiled. "I want you to know, I appreciate you taking the time to stop by today. I know it wasn't high on your priority list, but I do believe the report I will file regarding this meeting will put the doctor's mind at ease."

"Thank you counselor," said Wright as he stood up. "It might not have been my top priority; however, I am glad that we had this talk."