Sleepless Night "
By: Patia Zoei, Chief Counselor, [PC]

Stardate: 58204.25 2345

Patia lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She could feel every muscle in her body. The ones across the back of her shoulders throbbed. Sleep was elusive.

With a sigh, she rolled to her side. Tightly, she pulled her legs up and wrapped her forearms around them. She rested her forehead against her knees. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. Silently, sobs shook her body. Minutes crept by, almost an hour passed before she had cried herself out.

Tonight had been tougher on her than she had thought it would be. When Teilani had asked her if she had ever wanted to start a family of her own, it felt like a little part of her had died all over again. If Lucio had lived, in all probability, they would have already started the conversations about when to have their first child. She would be half of a whole, rather than an incomplete individual. It was a rare time when Patia allowed herself to reflect on the parts of her life that were not as they should be. The reason for this was it never paid to be this maudlin. There was nothing she could do to fix the situation, so there was no point dwelling on it. The true trouble was, for both genders in the Betazid culture, the actual bond with another individual was vitally important. From the time you were a small child, you knew your destiny and you knew you wouldn't face it alone. To be one of the rare people who did not fully experience this made for a lonely existence. It made her a freak in her own culture, with her own people. As often as she talked to other people about accepting themselves for who they are, it was hard, hard advice to follow. To deviate from the cultural norms, was just not a socially acceptable thing to do.

Patia sat up and braced her back against the headboard of her bed. She stretched her legs out in front of her and arched her feet until her toes pointed at the ceiling. The gentle stretch of her hamstrings tingled. She leaned back and tilted her head so it rested against the wall. Her breathing slowed. Seconds ticked by as she focused on her own heart beat as it thrummed in her ears. Slowly, she relaxed. A glance at the chronometer showed it was 0300. In five hours, unless he simply did not arrive, she would have her appointment with Commander Wright. If she was to have her wits about her, she would need some sleep.

Gracefully, she rose from her bed. She took a quick shower, misted her body with lily perfume, and slipped into fresh pajamas. She slid back under the covers, rolled to her side, and dropped into slumber in just moments.