Shakedown #148"
By: Patia Zoei, Chief Counselor, [PC]
Favor, Medic / Morale Officer, [PST]

Stardate: 58203.01 1800

Counselor’s office

Favor strode into the Counselor's office, bald and beaming. "I cut my hair, do you like it?" she asked.

“Well, Hello, Ensign Favor.” Zoei’s eyebrows went up as she took in the sight of the crewmember in front of her. Ensign Favor hadn’t merely cut her hair. She had shaved it completely bald. Not a stray hair could be seen. As a matter of fact, there was a reflection glowing, almost halo like, from the subdued lighting in the counselor’s office. “It is quite striking. What made you decide to choose that look?”

"Oh, you know." She ran a hand over her gleaming noggin. "Because I have compassion." Her eyes twinkled.

"I learned not to quietly judge people, Counselor. Did you know this? Did you know that I learned it from you?"

“No, Ensign, I did not know you learned this from me. When did you learn that?” Zoei was puzzled by the Ensign’s revelation.

"I learned that the moment I learned your mate was dead." Favor ducked her head, and stared at the floor.

Favor said quietly.

"Ah, so you did listen to me this morning. I wasn't sure, you seemed distinctly uncomfortable with the conversation," Zoei shifted in her chair, just as uncomfortable as she had perceived Favor to be that morning. She had hoped this topic would not come back up this afternoon. It had been bad enough this morning, the way she had so unprofessionally rambled.

Favor noticed the pinched look on the Counselor’s face, the tiredness…she drooped. Yes, that was it. The counselor looked droopy. "Loss doesn't scare me, but friendship does," she replied. "You know, Counselor, connectivity, and commonality breed friendship." Favor shrugged. The smell of the Counselor's perfume, her own assumptions---wrong, as it turned out. Dead mates, dead mothers. She sighed.

“That is an interesting thought, Ensign,” Zoei replied. “I have always, since I was a small child, equated friendship with loss. I am not fond of friendship myself, because I do not want to risk that type of loss. Friendship is a huge investment of time and energy, all to be thrown away like yesterday’s waste.

They tiptoed around this giant chessboard, and Favor imagined a giant trap, laden with bait ---friendship—waiting to spring. It could snap your neck if you let it, or break your heart.

"I'm not late, am I?" Favor asked, (as though to start the conversation over)

"No, right on time,” Zoei replied.

"Silvio just woke up! Isn't that fabulous?"

"That is fabulous news!” Zoei smiled broadly at the excitement in Favor’s voice, "But Silvio? Why not Bird?"

"Silvio woke up, and I didn't want him to feel alone. Alone in his baldness," she said, and laughed. "Human men prize their hair like no other."

Zoei chuckled, "That is very true, they certainly do. Considering your past feelings towards humans, I am surprised you would be willing to extend yourself to the point of baldness, but I am very happy to see you connecting with him. Not all humans are horrible creatures, are they? Or do you think this will change as he heals?"

Favor threw up her hands. "I have no idea, Counselor, and I no longer care. I can't go around letting past bitterness dictate my actions," she said. Her head felt so light. "Do you know, he needs to be understood, and that's the greatest human need, to be understood. Did you know this? Well, of course you did, you learned it probably at birth." She steepled her fingers.

Zoei settled more deeply in her chair, shifting so she was sitting on her foot. "I do understand this, and I think more than humans look for understanding. I think that is a basic need for many people from many cultures"

"Yes, I think you need to be understood, too, Counselor." Favor couldn't believe her own gall.

"You are correct, Ensign," Zoei replied She was shaken to the core. Never had anyone looked so deeply at the counselor or her behavior.

Favor couldn't believe the Counselor's answer.

"No man is an island, and all that," she replied. Her smile twitched.

Zoei's smile twitched as well. "Do you read many Earth classics?"

Favor's heart leaped. "I read everything, Cookie," she said lightly. "Didn't you get my last memo? Don't you want to borrow one of those holobook disks?"

"Toots, I did read your memo. I was surprised you have dealt with Earth in the past. I think, despite your dislike of humans, you want to understand what makes them work. And, now that you mention it, I would like to borrow one. Did anyone request Klingons Start A Prison Riot" yet?”

The Counselor shot a sly look at Favor's face, and Favor lifted her eyes to the Counselor's, and they both giggled, and suddenly--just like that---they were friends. It was infectious. Favor laughed so hard that she popped a button on her uniform, and that got them going all over again. "As a matter of fact, no one has. I thought Riaan might want it, but then I thought it might give her some ideas," she gasped.

Zoei laughed. "I think you might want to be careful who you hand that holobook over to when it is requested." Zoei winked at Favor, fighting the giggles. She hadn't laughed like this since she was a tiny child.

"Counselor, I don't think I can last in Sick Bay." God, it felt good to say that!

"Since we are not in session, Ensign, you might be more comfortable calling me Patia." Zoei offered the use of her given name for the first time since she had been with the Maquis. Inwardly, she cringed, fearing rejection of this overture. "Why not, Ensign?"

Favor smiled. "Since we are not in session, Patia, I believe I will take you up on that offer. Please, call me Favor."

Hearing Favor's response, Zoei breathed a silent sign of relief. She leaned forward in her chair, silently encouraging Favor to continue her story.

"I can't last in Sick Bay, Patia, because I despise this new doctor." There. She'd said something else. Truth pressed agains the floodgates. You know a Risan can't lie. You know this?" She was sure the Counselor did.

Zoei nodded. "And?" she encouraged Ensign Favor to continue her tale.

"Well, I can't lie. I can't stand this doctor. She acts like she's doing me a big favor by just showing up, and she tried to take over Bird, and I didn't like that."

"How would she take over Bird, Favor," Zoei asked.

Favor fumbled for the right words. "She...she tried to take him over." Oh, this wasn't right. She sounded like a petulant child! "He was mine and she tried to take him over and she..."

"His treatment?"

"His treatment, yes, but she didn't really care about him the way I did. She wouldn't have shaved her head for his sake, in fact she flips her hair around and I already found a piece of it laying on some sterilized equipment and I had to start all over again." Favor sniffed in disgust. "He was just another piece of warm meat to her, if you ask me."

"Favor, she is settling into her new duties. I know it is hard, but please remember she was on board the Kittyhawk. The Zion is all new to her. Have you had a staff meeting to work out responsibilities yet?"

"Well, I know, but he was MY patient. I am the one who has been tending him, not her. And she just walks right in here like she owns the place, and takes over MY PATIENT! And no to the staff meeting. I can't even stand to look at her face. I don't want her in my surgery, and I don't want her in my life, frankly."

Zoei was taken aback with the vehemence in Favor's voice. Possessive had not been a characteristic she would have assigned to Ensign Favor, or jealousy for that matter, but there was something here, very evidently here.

"The problem, you see, is that she outranks me. Therefore, it's now become HER surgery. And I don't want to work in HER surgery. I'd sooner turn tricks back on Risa than work under that woman." Favor examined her nails. "I mean it, Patia." She liked the way the sound of the Counselor's name rolled off her tongue. Patia. There was a Risan word, Patios, that meant harmony. So similar. How ironic it all was!

"I can tell you mean it, Favor," Zoei answered with a smile. "I am curious, though, if you have a plan to deal with the situation. The doctor will not be leaving, and you don't want to be miserable working with her."

"Well, I think I'm going to ask for a position as a full-time Morale officer. I think that's the only way," she said. "I'll help her out when she needs it. God forbid, if we get busy with more damaged people,” she said, and shivered.

"Do you realize full time Morale officers are not commonplace throughout the fleet? You may not be able to transfer to another ship in the same position you would hold here. I am not trying to discourage you, I just want to ensure you understand the implications of your decision."

Favor imagined the doctor leaving. Maybe she'd request orders somewhere else. Maybe she'd be declared mentally unfit for duty. Hmmm. "Patia, I don't suppose you'd consider...." she left the sentance unfinished, knowing that Patia would lift the thread of her thoughts, weave them in with her own.

Zoei chuckled again. With a wink, she replied, "I don't suppose I would consider that, Ensign, although I can understand why you would want that.”

Favor blushed. "Well, if they make me stay in Sick Bay, I think I'm going to have a big problem," she said. The thought made her so unhappy. I wouldn't want to transfer to another ship," she said.

"No reason to be embarrassed, Favor, it is a normal reaction to the stress of your situation. I like to remove some of my stressors as well.” Zoei smiled at Favor.

"What a sanitized way to say it.". Favor said, disapproval evident in her tone.

"Why wouldn't you want to transfer some day?" Zoei asked

"Patia, do you think I'm interested in promotion? Because, I'm not. I don't give a keloa's behind for promotion. I don't give two modos for promotion. I really don't! I'd rather work on MWR things."

"Favor, I understand that. When your request works its way up the chain of command, and it will since it is essentially a new position, it will need to be documented that you understand the possible limitations and implications of the position. You would rather focus more on morale issues at this time, though, correct?"

"Patia, a limitation is nothing but a horizon, and a horizon is nothing more than the boundary of your sight." She smiled. Didn't Patia know this already? She was sure she did. "I would feel much more restricted, stuck in Sick Bay with someone that I dislike, if for no other reason than she's in charge now, and I'm not," Favor said bluntly. There was simply no other way to put it. The Doctor had done nothing to her. Truth be told, Favor couldn't find any real fault with her medical expertise, nor her treatment of the patients.

"I think it is good that you can recognize your feelings on this, Favor. You will be happier, and the crew will be happier, in the long run because of your decision."

"Mainly, I'll be happier," Favor said. "And it's all about me, Counselor."

"Absolutely, you'll be happier. For you, it should be all about you and what will work best for you during your tour of duty," Zoei answered.

Favor was taken aback. For once, someone didn't chide her for selfish thoughts. For once, someone didn't tell her to always think of others. "Patia, when is it all about you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Zoei asked. “Do you mean when is it all about me, personally?"

Walls are up. Mirrors are up. It's all reflection. Favor could sense it so well, she almost thought she was empathic for a moment. "It's hard to work in a reflection when I'm not narcisscisstic, Patia," she said tartly. "It's fun for a while, but then it just gets old."

Zoei shifted again, this time placing both feet on the floor. The turn of the conversation is not what she had expected.

"Ensign, for myself, it is all about me after hours, when I am in my quarters. Outside of my quarters, it is all about what needs to be done for the betterment of this ship and its crew." Zoei was tense. It was one thing to be the counselor. It was another to be on the other side of the couch, so to speak. The tension was only evidenced by the slow tapping of the fingers of her right hand on the arm of the chair.

Favor sighed. The Counselor had reverted to calling her by her rank.

"Patia, I shouldn't have to explain to you what a friendship is," she said. She was tired that her eyes stung. She'd been working hard in Sickbay all day.

“Ensign, you don’t have to explain to me what a friendship is,” Zoei replied. Her posture was in a defensive position. Her nerves screamed for her to run, to escape from this conversation. This is why she didn’t get close to people. “I know what a friendship is, but maybe the trouble we are having today stems from the fact we both know what friendship is, but neither of us are accustomed to having friends.” Zoei breathed in slowly, steadying herself for Favor’s response. The scent of gardenias floated up to her, calming her further.

Favor tapped her fingers againsther knees. "You're right, Counselor," she admitted. "I've always been the class clown. The class clown, everyone loves her but she really has no friends." She sighed. "Maybe you and I can change that."

She stood up. "I've got to go," she said. "I've got to get another MWR memo out. It looks like we're in for a hard ride here, and I need to do what I can to keep up crew morale."

“Favor, I think it is best if we postpone the meeting regarding coordinating Morale events and group sessions until after a decision is made regarding your position on the ship. If you do choose a full time MWR position, and it is granted, we should be able to do more in depth coordination,” Zoei smiled at Ensign Favor. “Also, I am going to the holodeck tonight. You asked early about “All about me time”, and I wasn’t exactly upfront. As well as in my quarters, I also use holodeck time to work on my own pursuits. I have a holodeck reserved for tonight at 2000. If you would like to join me, tonight, I am going bobbing in the Pacific Ocean. It is something I used to do as a very small child while my father was the ambassador to Earth”

"Bobbing!" shrieked Favor, clasping her hands for joy. "Oh my GOD! I LOVE BOBBING!" She thought she'd try it in her birthday suit this time. Bobbing on the holodeck with Patia, could there be anything more fun than that? Favor didn't think so.

The door slid quietly closed behind Ensign Favor. This meeting hadn’t been nearly as hard as she had envisioned it would be.