Shakedown #123"
By: Patia Zoei, Chief Counselor, [PC]
Teilani Dane, Chief Medical Officer, [PC]

Stardate: 58203.02 0745

Sick Bay

When Silvio had left Teilani went back to her office when she noticed that she had a pending message. It was from the ships counsellor requesting her to meet around 8.00 hrs.

Teilani sighed; maybe it was time to tell the counsellor about the nightmares and how to cope with it. By the time she had finished her report on Silvio, it was nearly 8.00 hrs so Teilani headed to the counsellors office.

As she approached the door, Teilani took some deep breaths, straightened her uniform, run her hands through her hair and hit the door chime.

== Counsellors office ==

The counsellor glanced up from her seat at her desk as the door chime sounded. This morning's glass of raspberry iced tea was at her elbow, the fragrant scent of fresh replicated raspberries perfuming the air." Enter," she called.

"Good morning counsellor," whilst Teilani entered the office, "I received your message.

"Good morning, Doctor Teilani. I am sorry for the confusion about this morning. I had intended that to be a note added to my calendar to follow up with you today. It was quite inappropriate of me to have you summoned to my office this morning, without a thought to your schedule for the day, Doctor," Zoei greeted Ensign Teilani.

Its alright Teilani replied, I need to talk to you anyway. Teilani walked to the couch, do you mind if I sit down? I hope you have some time for me.

"Of course, I have time for you. Please do, have a seat there." Zoei crossed her office to the sitting area, her stride long and confident. She carried her cold glass of tea, sweat making the glass slippery. "Would you like something to drink?"

No thanks, Teilani replied, as she was sitting down she was thinking of a way to start. It was not easy for her having sessions with a counsellor, in the past Teilani had some bad experiences with counsellors. Counsellor, she said, I need you to help me analysing my nightmares, they are getting worse and I refuse them to affect my work. Oh, .. and counsellor please call me by my nickname "Red" Doctor sounds to official, Teilani said with a smile.

Zoei settled into her chair, tucking her foot underneath her as she sank in the comfort of her familiar spot. "I have noticed your dreams, Red. Last night they did appear worse than they have been. When you left after our first meeting, I worried about how your experiences would affect you as you got settled back into your routine. I am glad you chose to come back and work through them," Zoei smiled at the doctor. "Now, the best place to begin will not be with your dreams themselves, they are just a reaction to what happened on board the Kittyhawk. Why don't we start there?"

Teilani hesitated but decided to started from the beginning, Our journey was going quietly and I was really looking forward to the Medical conference at Qul Tuq , we were making good time to reach Qul

We were halfway when we were experiencing some minor problems, engine trouble, eps conduits that failed etc. nobody thought anything of it. Teilani paused for a second And then suddenly we came to a full stop. There was chaos in a matter of seconds, brilliant blue-green lights, the blur of metal raining down onto the lower decks, bodies tumbling down from above, the enraged death screams of crewmembers. Several of us ran down the corridors when we heard the distinctive sound of a transporter beams, we got boarded. Counsellor the more I think of it the more I am convinced that this was only possible if they had help from the inside.

Teilani continued. I managed to escape the boarding parties by ducking into the Jeffries tube, it all happened so fast. We managed to get to the shuttle bay but all was in vain, we ran around a curve when we ran into som e cardassians, they fired right away, without warning I managed to fall back. Teilani paused again, than I heard over the ships com that all personnel needed to go the escape pods, the last thing I saw was that the Kitty hawk exploded. I barely made it, and the rest you know, Counsellor.

"What about this do you feel is causing your dreams? Is it residual fear of what happened? Fear it could happen again? Or the trauma you went through on board the Kittyhawk? You have given me the facts of the tragedy, but nothing about how you feel about it," Zoei replied.

True Teilani replied, I am not a person who easily discusses her feelings, I do not know what it is but it is not fear maybe it is guild, I am angry I want to get even, I feel so much hate that it consumes me and yet I am sad, it is as if I have forgotten something, I SHOULD HAVE DIED ON THE KITTYHAWK WITH THE REST OF THE CREW. Teilani said with an outburst.

I should never have left them alone. Forheavenssake I am a doctor I should never have left my post. I have the feeling that I have abandon all of them. Have you ever had the feeling, counsellor that you were in a crowd and yet you were alone, well that is the way I am feeling now. But also let me tell you this counsellor, the first Cardassian or federation person I see .. well they better hide Teilani said with a voice full of hate.

"Red, there is a reason you made it off the Kittyhawk. We may not know now, or for a long time to come, but you have a purpose yet to fulfill. Guilt is common for the survivors of any tragedy. As hard as it is, to get past this, you will need to confront your feelings. It will most likely take more than once to reach a place where you are comfortable. It isn't easy. There are no quick fixes to make it go away. It will take work, which is hard when you are already stretched because of your work duties," the counselor sa id. "If it would make it easier for you, I can recommend to the Commander Wright that you be placed on half time duty. This will allow you to time to do your job and keep yourself occupied, while still allowing you to grieve the loss of your comrades and address the guilt you are feeling."

No this is not necessary, Teilani replied, if I am placed on half time than it will only force me to think about it, I know myself the best counsellor, and working my way true it is the best thing I can do, but I also know that I can not do this alone.. So I was just wondering maybe you know someone on the ship who can teach me some meditation.

I also know that when we have had the memorial service than I will be able to give it a place, not before..

Teilani took a deep breath before she continued: "It is not only the events on the Kittyhawk that bother me counsellor but it is also ensign Favor's behaviour," Teilani continued, "I have the feeling that she does not like me, and I do not know why. I tried to be nice to her, I even invited her to Miranda's for us to get acquainted." Teilani sighed she was glad that this was also out in the open.

"Have you discussed this with Ensign Favor directly? For myself, I find the easiest way to deal with conflict is to approach the person directly. If this is something that is discussed with anyone but Ensign Favor, it will surely spread like wildfire on board the ship," Zoei replied. "If you feel, once you have tried to work through this with Ensign Favor directly, that you cannot reach a resolution, please let me know. I will be happy to mediate a session for the two of you to work through your differences."

No, Teilani responded. I have not been in position where I could discuss this with her. Frankly, she has never given me a chance to do so. Honestly counsellor I am fed up with her attitude.

"Red, I understand you are in a difficult situation, but you are not the only one going through changes now. Ensign Favor is also going through some changes. Prior to your arrival, she was in charge of Sick Bay. It will take time for her to adjust to her change in status, just as it will take time for you to adjust to being on the Zion. I suggest you schedule a staff meeting. Address any concerns you have with her there. If there are problems with her work performance, you will need to follow the protocols for those specific instances. If it is personality conflicts, as I said before, I would be happy to meet with you both to work through any issues, but it would be best if you tried to work with her first.”

Teilani nodded, she knew the counsellor was right. Teilani stood up and started walking to the door, well counsellor I will not take up anymore of your time. But, Teilani hesitated I hope that we can talk some more about it?? I will try an see if I can resolve the problems with Ensign Favor, she is to valuable for sickbay and I hate loosing a good medic. Thanks for listening.

“Any time, Red,” the counselor smiled at the doctor. “My door is always open to you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.”

As the doctor walked through the door, Zoei turned toward her desk. The replicated ice had melted from her tea, the glass was no longer slippery. She put her glass at the replicator and strode to her office chair. The scent of gardenias wafted up around her as she sank into the comfortable chair. “Computer, dictation for Doctor Teilani Dane, session 0800 58203.02.”